I know I’m going to suffer a lot of spam because of this title, but it fits. So it stays.

Last week, I walked out to my office just after dawn, not noticing an overturned bench, mowed down echinacea or haphazardly munched Egyptian onions. Enjoying a blissfully quiet morning before the start of our savage spring winds, I turned on the grow lights and said hello to all the seedlings bursting out of their little pots.

On my way back to the house, I turned to greet the goats and saw that their gate was open. Oh no! Are they okay? Yes, the goats were all sitting comfortably in goatie zenasana, chewing their cud. Oh good, I thought. They didn’t notice the gate was open. As I walked over to shut up their gate, I noticed that a Reine de Mirabelle plum planted near their pen was missing all its leaves.

This Cherry Tree from Tooley's Trees is Goatie Girl Approved!

I looked around and the nightmare began. An uprooted peach tree, a completely girdled cherry tree, almond trees turned into runty sticks. Upon closer inspection, they also mowed down herbs they don’t even like.  Feverfew and motherwort and onions got a trim -just a little off the top, whereas sage and echinacea took a bigger hit. The apricot tree lost a few branches, but they must have been full by then because they didn’t do too much damage to the mature fruit trees.

Seckel Pear. It was nice knowing you. Imperial Epineuse Plum -we’ll always have Paris.

Peach Tree -Goatie Girl Approved!